A half-century romance between two men - in a self-told documentary
Stu Maddux, Director
Shortly after meeting Bob and Jack I realized they held the answer to the big question: ‘how do I have a lasting relationship?’
Society teaches gay men (and our own gay culture reinforces) a huge doubt about ourselves: am I simply not capable, not designed to have a life-long relationship? This film dispels that deep, destructive, self-doubt that many queer people keep in them.
Bob and Jack show that we are no different than everyone else out there looking for life-long love! Just as deserving – just as capable.
But how did they do it?
I wondered if the few lasting gay couples that exist are just squeaky-clean, freak occurrences that have few arguments, no infidelity, little passion. Clearly not. This documentary revealed how much gay, young men and women a half century ago had the same problems as their counterparts today.
At the same time Bob and Jack ended up surprisingly similar to my very straight grandparents. If there is anything discouraging about Bob and Jacks’ story it’s the lack of legal validation for all their years together. Listening to the fears they have about the future, you can’t help but realize that you are listening to any elderly couple talk about social security and Medicare. How will one survive when the other one is gone? Bob and Jack have no such safety net.
I didn’t intend for this documentary to have any political overtones but it made me understand more clearly that gay marriage is not just a token nod of the head to committed couples. Its a necessity for any relationship that has lasted so long that one member will out live the other.
Every time I watch, Bob and Jack they seem to deprogram me a little bit more. Yes, I am capable of finding- and keeping- life-long love.
